It’s the start of fall in The Forest! We hope your student has begun to feel settled at home; whether it’s their first time in The Forest, or they’re returning home once again. This month we have links to residential reminders your student receives at the start of each semester, provide tips for supporting your students as they navigate roommate dynamics, and offer suggestions for #WFU27 for those of you with new Deacs. We also have a special link provided below for #WFU27 Parents and Families!
For all of our on-campus students, several important messages were sent out as semester kick-off reminders for how to stay safe and healthy in community:
Fire Safety and Building Reminders
Supporting Your Student as They Navigate Roommate Dynamics
Students are settling into a routine both academically and socially and well you guessed it, roommate relationships can began to change like the leaves. September is usually the point when the newness has worn off and the little things can start to frustrate our students. Sometimes this can lead to students wanting a roommate change. While a room change may end up being the result, we first encourage students to utilize active listening and mediation techniques that may address the concerns and allow the two individuals to remain where they currently live. As parents and family members, you can partner with us in a variety of ways – most importantly through your own understanding of the process and helping your student(s) understand as well. We’ve included some advice below that has helped our students over the years.
- Help your student(s) evaluate the situation
- Listen to them. Be a sounding board by providing support and perspective.
- Encourage them to consider the point of view of the other person.
- Remind them that living with another person isn’t always easy. Conflicts will arise but through effective communication they can work through the concerns (hopefully).
- Help your student(s) address the problem
- Encourage your student to talk directly and respectfully to their roommate about the actual concerns.
- Encourage the student to talk to them in a timely manner so the conflict doesn’t build up over time.
- Please know…if students cannot address the issue with their roommate one-on-one, remind your student to reach out to their RA for assistance.
- Let your student resolve the problems in their own way. No need to swoop in and save the day, they need to learn these healthy conflict skills.
- Remind your student to use “I statements” to own their feelings and the thoughts expressed. I feel______ when_____because_____so what I’m hoping is _____. A complete example would be “I feel frustrated when the lights are left on after midnight because it is hard for me to fall asleep and then I don’t do well in my classes, so I’m hoping we can turn the lights off or dim them at a certain time every night, or find another agreeable solution that works for both of us.”
- Help yourself and your student(s) by better understanding how we train our RAs to assist with this process. Please know that RAs are not full-time conflict specialists but they offer up as much help as possible. For example, one of the listening models our RAs utilize…the LARA model when talking directly with students experiencing a crisis:
L stands for Listen. In this stage of LARA, active listening needs to be practiced, by maintaining eye contact (if culturally appropriate), nodding your head, and showing that you are listening.
A stands for Affirm or Acknowledge. Much like active listening, this stage requires that the RA says something affirming like “Acknowledge the feelings and needs behind what is being said.
R stands for Respond. This is when the RA can respond to what was said – address the interests and needs that the resident brought up.
A stands for Add. Provide additional information or options about solutions. We don’t give advice or force your opinion on anyone, though!
If mediation doesn’t fully work on the RA level, we have Graduate Hall Directors and Community Directors to assist with further communication and to decide the most appropriate next steps in finding a resolution. Help your student to help themselves when it comes to handling conflict. While it’s not always delightful, neither your student nor you are alone in working through tough situations.
Encourage your Deacs to Get Connected!
For #WFU27 family and friends, encourage your students to connect with their Faculty Fellows if they haven’t already. Each first-year residence hall has an affiliated faculty team from a wide range of academic disciplines who work to foster engagement, support and advise students, and create experiences designed to connect our residential communities. They are interested in getting to know your student as a whole person- not just a student of classrooms, studios, and labs.
Additionally, our newest Deacs are encouraged to take part in as many of the Wake the Forest events as possible. Wake the Forest is a series of events designed specifically to help new students establish meaningful connections to the Wake Forest community as they navigate their new home in the first few weeks of school.
A Small Gift for you…
And last but not least, we have a small gift for our newest parents and families.
We know that just like our students, you too are experiencing the mix of emotions that comes with the changes this new chapter offers. Some of our families are sending their first to college, or their last. Some are watching the legacy of their third-generation Demon Deacon unfold. Other families are sending their students to another country for the first time while others are watching their student create their own path as a first-generation college student. No matter where you fit in our shared Wake Forest story, know that we are here to partner in your student’s journey to create a home at Wake Forest. We’ve created a gallery of moments from move-in week that we hope will bring a smile to the faces of our #WFU27 Parents and Families. We also encourage you (if you have not already) to subscribe to The Daily Deac, which gives our parents and families a glimpse into campus life, plus important tips!
We look forward to continuing our shared partnership in your student’s journey here at Wake Forest. For any questions or feedback, our office is always available during business hours at 336.758.5185 or housing@wfu.edu.